13 Things M:U Will Miss This Thanksgiving

We here at Major: Undecided are looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving this year. However, things are different this year and many of us will be at Tufts and won’t be able to celebrate with our families. So, we decided to make a list of the things we’ll miss most about not being home for Thanksgiving and what we’re looking forward to next year. Have a great Thanksgiving!

1. Watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

This is a real Thanksgiving day classic. Nothing like sitting back with the family, preemptively squeezing the stuffing out of your stress balls, and watching a giant Pikachu terrorize the City of New York before Aunt Beth arrives.

2. Playing a game of cornhole with dad in the backyard

The novelty of the giant Pikachu is wearing off, and it’s time to get your game on. What says ‘I grew up in the suburbs and am desperately clinging onto my 80s college years into middle age’ like a cornhole set? Tubular!

3. Aunt Beth’s Politically Incorrect rants and mushy casserole™ No, Aunt Beth, I do not spend my Friday nights ‘owning the libs.’ And maybe you should have spent your Wednesday night reading this recipe a little closer, I don’t think it called for the green beans to be drowned in soup.

4. The “How’s College?”....”good” “Oh so you do comedy? Tell us a joke!” conversation Listen… I know it’s tempting. I know we all need a little humor right now. But when Uncle Ricky told me he got his nursing degree, I didn’t say “Oh, you’re a nurse? Why don’t you change my catheter right now?” Yup. it’s the same thing.

5. When one family member brings a new significant other and you all have to make awkward small talk

Last year it was Shane, this year it’s Carole. Either way, they always bring the weird sweet potato marshmallow thing. And I am N O T A F A N.

6. Ignoring my little brother Tyler because last year he shot me in the bottom with his BB gun

I love my family as much as the next person, but if my little shit brother Tyler skins our cat, wears the cat as a skin suit, hides in my room disguised as our cat, and shoots me in the ass with the BB gun he got for Christmas last year one more time...I’m gonna lose it.

7. Going to the turkey trot and being trampled by the family doing the race on ATVs The only thing worse than running a 5k with your family is being run over on a 5k with your family. 8. The turkey that lingers outside the kitchen window and stares and shakes his head disapprovingly as he gazes mournfully at his fallen, gravy-smothered brethren

9. That TV in the background of dinner that you get distracted by that seems to only play car commercials Is it just me or is it Toyota truck month every month? 10. The turkey who knocks on our door every year and when we open it he is holding a knife and says “next year, YOU will be the ones getting basted” then he gobbles and waddles back to his home They say it’s a family tradition, but it always struck me as a little weird. I’ve always wondered what that turkey is thinking about. 11. But wait this year he is gobbling closer My my, that is some aggressive gobbling. This might sound strange but that turkey looks like it’s walking with… Purpose? 12. OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE TURKEY FEET PLEASE HAVE MERCY NO THIS TURKEY IS NOT YOUR COUSIN WE PROMISE NOT TO INDULGE IN POULTRY AGAI--- 13. Enjoying a pleasant, vegan Thanksgiving meal with my fellow human compatriots :-)